To My Parents

SATB, a cappella

What is true forgiveness? I suppose I could wax philosophical in an effort to write something beautiful and insightful but I think that (a) I’m nowhere near that poetic (or smart…I mean let’s not mince words here) and (b) there is no way I could ever come as close as Wendell Berry does in his gorgeous text. Reading it for the first time was an amazing, visceral experience. However, realizing immediately afterwards that I was going to have to set it to music was terrifying. It hits incredibly close to center with regards to being emotionally vulnerable and, at the time, it didn’t seem like it would be a lot of fun to dwell on that emotion for the amount of time it would take to write a piece of music. Of course, we see this vulnerability all the time in the world of the confessional singer/songwriter so, in the end, my solution was to take a bit of that persona on in order to write this piece.

I tried to portray that sense of wandering and confusion that leads up to what I think is the revelation of true unconditional love. The opening theme (sung only by the women of the choir) comes back at the close of the piece sung by the entire ensemble and clothed in a warmer harmony than before; like a transgression remembered almost fondly with a wry smile and overwhelming gratitude.

To My Parents was commissioned in 2010 by The Singers—Minnesota Choral Artists. Berry’s original poem is titled “To My Mother” but, for my purposes here, I’ll give it a new title and dedicate this piece to both Alan Shank and Susan Witter-Shank.

The Text

By Wendell Berry (b. 1934)

I was your rebellious son,
do you remember? Sometimes
I wonder if you do remember,
so complete has your forgiveness been.
So complete has your forgiveness been
I wonder sometimes if it did not
precede my wrong, and I erred,
safe found, within your love,
prepared ahead of me, the way home,
or my bed at night, so that almost
I should forgive you, who perhaps
foresaw the worst that I might do,
and forgave before I could act,
causing me to smile now, looking back,
to see how paltry was my worst,
compared to your forgiveness of it
already given. And this, then,
is the vision of that Heaven of which
we have heard, where those who love
each other have forgiven each other,
where, for that, the leaves are green,
the light a music in the air,
and all is unentangled,
and all is undismayed.

Performed by The Singers—Minnesota Choral Artists
(Dr. Matthew Culloton, conductor).